bullying or more

If any of your sons friends are prepared to stand up and support your son, go back to your head teacher, inform him/her of the recent threat and that your son has witnesses to this. If his friends will not support him,  all schools now have an anti bullying policy which you are allowed to see.  This should set out procedures. In any event you should inform the headteacher that unless you are taken seriously and this child is dealt with as a serious matter, you will inform the police.  What has happened is threatening behaviour and is a criminal offence.

I agree with Ian in as much as this is initially a school matter. The police will help but rather than criminalising an11 year old they are likely to refer the matter back to the school and assist them and perhaps apply a little pressure for the school to resolve the matter before becoming fully involved. Indeed that is the policy of many forces

Hello, tidd.

Ian thought that I may be able to advise, as I have done a web page on bullying at school http://www.squidoo.com/bullying_at_school.

It's really about deregistering your child from school so perhaps not what you need right now, but I think it is useful to know that there is action you can take if the school won't do their job and your son continues to suffer abuse.

There are links on the page to more information on bullying and home-education.

Even an idle threat to deregister your son might make the school take the situation more seriously. After all, if the bullying is interfering with your son's ability to concentrate on his school work, then it is possible that you would be breaking the law by sending him to school, as he might not then be being educated according to his age, ability and needs.

Thank you Samsmoot and Ian.

The thought of home tutoring seems like a good idea at the moment.  My son has been talking to me about how this bullying is making him feel.  When I hear that he feels useless, worthless, sad and he does not want to live any more it makes me feel physically sick and angry.  My boy has such a heart of gold that he told me not to cry as this was his problem and I should not be sad.  The next step I know that I will have to take is to go to the doctors so that Lehi can talk about his feelings so that he will not be another statistical figure of depression.  I asked for a meeting with the school for today, but unfortunately they can only see me tomorrow.  I have done some research about bullying and have found that the police liason officer appointed to the school should be informed about the criminal matters involved, and I should also take a letter of the bullying with me.  After replying to your comments I will be visiting the web address you have given me.  Thank you!  You have shown me that I am not an over protective mother but one that is concerned about my children.  Your both priceless.

I will let you know how things go.

Best of luck then, tidd. Please let us know what happens.

on the 28th april my son and i went to the school,  and was confronted with 2 teachers.  suprise suprise!

They told my son that he should have told them before he told me about the bullying.  I took a letter that said that the actions they put in place has not worked, the teacher in question kept saying that she was upset because the letter said that they had not done anything about the bullying in the past.  4 or 5 times I had to quote that I had said that what i had put was the actions they had put in place had not worked.  I also asked for a copy of my sons school record, and asked for a record of the action they would take towards the boys in question.  As at the 8th may I have had no reply from the school.

on the 28th april the head of house said that she would give my son a  note book. As at the 8th may he has not received a note book from the school.

Please could some one advise me on the next course of action that I can legally take.

This is a difficult situation which will still require, in my opinion, a delicate approach.

I could say to you that the police should be involved, that you should notify the governors or that you should commence an action against the LEA.

However I think that at this point this will only make things worse.

Did the school provide you with a copy of their policy on bullying? If not you must obtain this and then ensure that the school follows the procedure it has itself laid down.

If the policy has not been followed then this will strengthen your hand if you have to take matters further.

You might also want to check out the bullying helpline.

You could think about deregistering your son for just a few weeks (but you wouldn't say this to the school). I am not 100% on this, but I think that if a pupil is deregistered they will have the right to return to the same school within a certain amount of time.

I don't think it's the best thing to do, for a variety of reasons, but it is an option to bear in mind. I guess Education Otherwise would advise you correctly on the law re this, but you might have to pay to join.

It's no surprise that the school is less than eager to respond to your very reasonable requests - or do anything helpful. Seems to be the norm.

That's why it's important to know that your son doesn't have to take it if it gets to be too much.

On tuesday my son was physically attacked out side a classroom, and the bully told my son that he would have to fight at lunchtime.  Fortunately the school let him come home even though they knew he was not ill. 

Had a meeting with the deputy head as he has now taken on the bullying issues.

Offered my son  school counselling:  My son will not go as he does not trust the school.  Our doctor agreed with my son and has put him forward with a local counselling service.

Deputy head has told me that they would change my sons classes if he wants. 

My son is not at school at the moment as he is very scared.  I am trying to get my son to think of things that would help him feel better about school and to feel that he has control of his life.  Will be making a list of things to be discussed with the school to see if they can meet him half way, and hopefully he will be back at school very soon.

If the school does not authorise his absence, the doctor has told me that they will write to the school and explain the situation. 

The schools anti bullying policy is very sketchy on action they will take, but tomorrow I will be asking what action they have taken or will be taking to sort out the bullies.

Thank you for replying, it has been a great help.  Hopefully I will be able to let you know that everything has been sorted.

I have been making further enquiries about this.

It may not be a good idea for your son to keep a note book which is with him at school. If other pupils get hold of it the contents may be used against him.

The school should appoint a personal adult mentor from within it's staff to whom your son can turn at any time of the day if he has any concerns or if he is being threatened.

You may want to suggest this to the school authorities.

The school probably will not authorise the absence, in my opinion, and I also think you are wasting your time hoping they will sort it out. Your son was attacked some time after the bullying problem was reported - do you really think they are taking it seriously enough?

If they really are making sufficient efforts, and it will get sorted, then great. But in the meantime your son has been made to feel there is something wrong with him as he now needs to go to counselling - why should he be made to feel more of a victim than he already is?

I don't think it would be fair on your son to send him to a school who won't exercise their duty of care, and you don't have to.

You know what the option is, and you should know what's best for your son, so please consider deregistering him and giving him immediate relief.